[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

to be continued….

last night, i was staring at a blank piece of paper… just staring… and wondering what on earth would i write… just to do something… my mind was occupied with so many things…

yeah, so many things..

u know, i’m doing my baby thesis… it’s just a baby! but like hell it’s so hard… and i just couldn’t concentrate.. and i should concentrate… and that’s what i hate about myself. i must set my priorities but still i break my own rules. then i’d hate myself more because i’m so dumb. well, going back to my thesis, i think i’ll get a D there. haha! but i’m not losing hope. i’m always hopeful, although there’s nothing to hope for. maybe a miracle will do.. i just wished it would rain fire the next day. XD

there are still some things bothering me. and i hate those things that do nothing but bother the peaceful. uhh, yeah, i’m not peaceful, never. but the point is… they just add to my burdens. i don’t like having so many burdens. who likes that anyway? and now i’m starting to tell nonsense because i’m thinking of my stupidity again.

aarrgghhh!

i couldn’t really focus on my thesis… because someone was doing craps last night. i got really annoyed when he showed up on my Ym and told me all those baloneys and whatever else he said. duhh! i’m sick of all his lame talks and i couldn’t find any meaning in any of the words he typed and the same words that showed up on my stupid monitor. it is really A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G!!! and he surely made my life more confusing and disturbing. >< u know the hey-i-want-to-kill-you feeling? that’s what i felt.

and just because he popped up in my world, everything’s on a mess…

i felt mad.. actually, i’m still mad as i write this post.. but i shouldn’t be mad at him in the first place.. i just wanna be mad at him because i don’t wanna be mad at myself. put the blame on others and let others suffer, that is. i just don’t like to admit that i did something wrong that put me on this damn situation knowing the fact that i can’t do something about it…

and i still have a fever u know.. it just got worse because i got wet in the rain lately… >< jeez! i feel bad!!!

i really feel struggling with emotions…. too many to tell….

to be continued…

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