[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

..he’s not worth it~

“he’s not worth your thoughts. ako nalang ang isipin mo. hahaha!” text sa akin ni Chad kanina.

i once told my roommate that he’s OUT of my life already. but i guess, he’s still there on the background, waiting for me to approach him. and i did. i dunno why he’s the one i ran on to. it’s just that he’s always there [despite the bad things i did]. and i aprreciate it soo much.

and once again, i’m hurting inside because of you-know-who. Chad was the one who filled up for you-know-who’s shortcomings. he was the one who called me last night and sang to me. he was there to listen to my cries. and he was the one who did it all to calm me down.

i don’t actually know what’s been happening [to me and you-know-who]. and that’s the worst part of it. NOT KNOWING. i was thinking that maybe i was just being paranoid or whatever. or maybe there really was a problem. just a cold war. JUST. :((

i guess he’s not really worth my thoughts or my concern. maybe… maybe it’s not meant to go right. maybe it was there to tell us that we are not going so perfectly together. but i couldn’t just let it go. no matter how hard i try, it was all over me.

sabi pa ni Chad, “Why him?”

hundreds of answers came into my mind. but i couldn’t seem to put them into words. maybe… maybe they’re not the real answer. maybe the real anwer was not meant to be said. or it wasn’t meant to be figured out at all.

then again, i started to think about him. i should really find a hobby. divert my thoughts. focus on other things. cheer up. get a life. have fun.

argh~! but for now. could i just think about him? even though he’s not worth it?..


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