..maybe because of love..
..i don’t even know why i’m writing this time. perhaps, i need to pour all the negative energies inside me into this lifeless computer. it wouldn’t hurt it so bad, i know. it’s better than sulking (or am i sulking now?). it’s better than doing nothing for sure.
..i may be better now. i already realized what’s missing in my life. APPRECIATION.
..for the past few weeks, i felt like i’ve been losing my faith. my grip wasn’t that tight. my burdens heavier. i’ve been so preoccupied with worthless things. like whining about inevitable circumstances. like sticking with regrets. and bitching about little stuff. oftentimes, i was like a mindless puppet, following an invisible hand that drives me toward nothingness. i was always tired, or maybe i just programmed my mind to think that i was always tired. i know i’ve been so wrong.
..but now, i guess i’m here for a change. i haven’t had that spark in my eyes for long. and i was hypnotized by the feeling that i was, indeed, a useless crap. now i’m waking up. now i need to find my worth. now i need to find that connection again, that certain bond that kept me going for years. i need a new life, a new vision, maybe a new driving force to keep me on track.
..perhaps, i just need more time to think of all the things i’m supposed to be thankful for. i just have to appreciate the things i always take for granted. and i have to ponder over the reasons why i’m still here. breathing… and writing.
..maybe because of LOVE.
in all it’s senses.