writing prompt #1
what if the shoes didn’t fit Cinderella? what if the shoes fit one of her evil stepsisters? what if there really is no fairy tale?
so, my story started after the grand ball. yes, cinderella had a magical night which unfortunately ended at midnight. what’s more unfortunate was cinderella didn’t hear the bell tolling because of her newly acquired i-pod that was playing loudly on her ears. poor cinderella. the clock struck twelve and every piece of clothing and accessory was gone, every magic, everything – except her i-pod and the glass shoes – was gone. i dunno how the glass shoes managed to remain, but it did. so you could picture everyone in that castle, dumbstruck with that striking lady at the middle of the dance floor and gawd!, she was nude.
everybody started bumping their way towards cinderella. she managed to clear her mind and ran as fast as she could, but with the glass shoes still on, she just tripped over and made an even bigger embarrassment. cursing loudly, she took off her shoes and threw it as far as she could. the pair of shoes landed at the prince’s head, one broke, the other didn’t.
so, that was how the prince got the shoe. he was hypnotized. he was in love. not with cinderella’s grace, charm, and beauty, but with her oh so luscious body. (damn, isn’t that prince a perv?)
so the prince asked his knights to search for the owner of the shoe. he texted his other prince friends to ask for help. he even sent an email to President Obama to ask if he knew who this sexy lady was. Obama replied, “aren’t you just looking for angelina jolie?” Prince Charming said, “No, she has a body that Angelina would envy.”
so the search went on, until they made it to cinderella’s house. her stepsisters tried it on, and ohmigod! Drizella, that skinny bitch, managed to have the shoe fit her. cinderella stared in amazement and disbelief. the perv prince jumped in triumph and hastily went back to the castle with the bitch Drizella. they got engaged, of course. they got married, of course.
on the night of their honeymoon, well, actually no honeymoon happened. uhh, Drizella took off her clothes and wham! the prince fainted. “That body is the most horrible thing i’ve ever seen. I’d rather fuck a pig than sleep with you, you skinny bitch!” Drizella was so torn apart, so humiliated that she jumped out of the tower window and landed on the bushes, dead.
meanwhile, cinderella got so depressed that she didn’t have the chance to try that shoe. she cursed her fairy godmother, who already died then because of heat stroke. she cursed the world, went berserk, lost her mind. poor cinderella.
she even ran naked around town.
the prince coincidentally saw her. saw her body. that oh so luscious body. and followed her. but he was too late. cinderella jumped off a cliff and the sexiest woman in the world died then and there. that remains Angelina Jolie as the sexiest woman alive.
well, as for the prince, he became a drunken bastard. all he could do was think and fantasize about cinderella. and he lived a miserable life ever after.
moral: shoe size is not correlated with sexiness.