shattered emotions ~ senti mode
i don’t want this to end. i don’t want another could-have-been-a-happy-ending.
yet, it looks like he’s already giving up on me. all those promises, all those sweet talks, all those hugs — they’re all just part of a story once has been. i wish i could go back in time, to that moment where he was embracing me, and freeze everything. i wish i could hold back the words i said. that we’re better off as friends. that our future together is just a series of blurred images. no direction. no point in pushing through. i wish i’m more stupid. being this smart isn’t doing me any good.
he’s giving up on me. this is a bitter reality that i have to live with. right now, i don’t know how to accept it. it seems that everyday would be as boring as before, with me just dragging myself to wake up every morning. no purpose. nothing to look forward to. he has been my inspiration. i don’t know why he has such a big impact on me. on my life. on everything i believe in.
he has been a big part of me. and as he was leaving, he took a big part of me, too.
that part which is capable of loving and smiling and caring.
but now, i’m still hoping. i know one day this hope is gonna let me down. this hope will just lead to disappointment. i know.
shit, i still keep asking, is this really the end? although we all know the answer.