[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

thought about your msgs:)

i always keep your messages because i’m afraid you might not say them again. but then, i delete them afterward, thinking that if i hold on to those little things, i wouldn’t be able to move on, just in case you’d leave me. and i’d be a pathetic fool, crying over words once said but never repeated.

you always have the tendency to just walk away and leave me behind. you are flighty, always looking for something new. you give me the impression that sooner or later, this whole thing would end. and i’m always afraid that if i take only one look away, you’d be gone.

could you blame me if i don’t believe in happily-ever-afters? what’s there to believe, if every time i get my hopes up, reality would come crashing me down? what’s left in all my good dreams, if every time i try to make them real, i end up with a nightmare?

i get paranoid so easily. i feel that my grip on you isn’t that tight. i feel like i have to fight for you every time. i wanted to own you, yet i have no right to say you’re mine. you are free to do whatever you want. free to run to someone else. but really, i wanted to own you. i want you to say that i’m the only one you want. that i’m the only one you need. that i’m the only one you love.

because i wanted us to be fair. because right now, you’re the only one. you’re everything.

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