[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

:(

amputah. ang dami kong gustong sabihin pero di ko alam kung saan magsisimula. shet. cliche.

i couldn’t imagine myself all alone all throughout the week. i know my friends couldn’t fill the emptiness. i need him by my side.

i think it all boils down to this: i couldn’t live without him.

and i am currently on this process of blaming myself for what had happened. i was thinking that i was the one who’s responsible for his absences. i was the one who’s always clingy and needy and demanding. i dunno. crap.

i wish there was a mistake. and when i get back to QC on monday, he will be there to greet me.

and there’s a part of me that’s thinking i haven’t hugged him enough. i haven’t kissed him enough. i felt like my time with him was not enough. not enough. dammit.

kainis. ang dami kong gustong sabihin, pero hindi gumagana ng maayos yung utak ko. everything’s all jumbled up in my mind.

and everything’s about him, really.

i miss him badly…

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2 responses

  1. ab

    youre a very smart girl. you dont have to put up with a guy like him angel. I know what youre going through and i know that sometimes we just cant let go because we are too attached.

    You pretend that youre ok with him but i know that things have already fallen apart. Stop pretending. you know you cant be with a guy like him. You know that you deserve better. Youre attached, not in love.

    I guarantee you will find true love.. but the first step is to accept and let go.

    July 19, 2010 at 11:03 AM

  2. OMG. you pretty nailed it.

    maybe the first step for me is to differentiate love and attachment. because right now, i don’t know what i’m really feeling. thank you for seeing through me. but i bet you wouldn’t have known this if not for my blog. YES, i was pretending. STILL AM.

    but i hope it’ll get better.

    July 19, 2010 at 6:46 PM

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