sometimes, your life has to become a mess for you to figure out how to put it back together, better than its original state.
sometimes, you have to endure a lot of sleepless nights for you to enjoy the privilege of sleeping, of those good night kisses and hugs, and of sweet dreams. sometimes, you have to cry for no reason at all. maybe you have to cry to help ease the pain, to release suppressed emotions, to give comfort to yourself. sometimes you just have to give up, not because you’re already tired of holding on, but because the one you’re holding on to is already losing the grip on you. you really have to learn to consider others, not just your own pain, not just your own feelings.
sometimes, you have to learn all these the hard way. perhaps, it’s life’s way of saying, “you have limitations. if i don’t make everything difficult for you, you wouldn’t learn how to stop.”
so this time, i would stop. i’d stop making a mess out of this effing life. i’d start right this time. i’d start making changes. i know i wouldn’t be happy with some of the changes i’d make, but hell, they’re the right thing to do. and i would probably be happy, sooner or later, just not right now.