[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

Wonderful Mr. Wrong

Everyone knows him. Maybe you met him at a party, bumped onto him in the mall, or became teammates with him during one of those youth camps. Maybe he’s your next door neighbor. Your high school classmate. Or your best friend.

Mine is the same story as yours. Maybe we got different conflicts to spice up our stories but basically the plot is the same. What’s more is that we all knew it’s gonna end the same way as others, or it should end like that, if it hasn’t ended yet. Bottomline: we know we like Mr. Wrong, love even. But he’s not worth risking Mr. Right out there somewhere.

Of course at first, who knew that he’s the wrong guy? He swept you off your feet. You believed that love is blind even though you had perfect vision before. Some would even say that you two were the most perfect couple they had laid eyes on. You easily believed them, aside from believing in cupids, shooting stars, anniversaries, and the word full of promises: forever. Then you found yourself tangled in the most exciting romance, or so you thought.

Once you had established that he didn’t leave you in the first months of your relationship and that he remained loyal, you began thinking of the big picture. Planning way ahead of time, setting high expectations, and clinging on every bit of himself are only three of the lot of things you used to do. You started wanting to own him. You started to let him own you.

But you had petty fights and big issues along the way. Uh-oh.

At some point, you realized that it’s not going to work. Maybe you didn’t realize at all and it was he who had to end this, whatever ‘this’ is. Usually it’s because of jealousy, third or perhaps a fourth party, not enough time, efforts unappreciated, you being fed up with each other’s baggages, or you just getting tired of being in a relationship. There are lots of reasons, really.

And here it came, the most dreadful word you could think of at that time: breakup. All of those plans and expectations and promises became meaningless. Whoever broke up first didn’t matter. You were hurt, wounded, and torn, whether or not you’re the ‘victim’. You went with those days of mourning as if you were already widowed instead of just unattached. You went on with the grieving period, reminiscing the old days, thinking of what went wrong, telling yourself that it should have been perfect, having regrets, and cursing him, that bastard, for leaving you in that pathetic situation. Letting go was hard, even if you didn’t admit it because you had too much pride in you. Moving on was like a funeral – slow and sad; and it’s as if you were the one to be sent to the grave.

But you survived it.

Now, maybe you were not speaking to him, that wrong guy of your past. Maybe you were treating him as if he didn’t exist, or as if he’s a cockroack or a cactus. Maybe you were friends, and that’s good. But if you now look at him negatively, take a second look. That guy once made you happy. It just didn’t last. You’re being unfair if you tell yourself that he didn’t give you anything but heartaches. You’re lying if you tell that he was a jerk, always was and always will be. You know the truth, he once made a fairy tale come true, and with that you must be thankful. Don’t be so childish and bitter and bitchy about a temporary relationship. Think of the bright side, of all the good things you learned, of all the realizations that dawned on you, and of the chance it gave you to find the right guy.

Now, Mr. Wrong, or simply your ex, would be very much willing to clear everything up, if you didn’t end up in good terms. I know, every breakup is messy and i’d be a fool if i say that you should end every relationship with clear heads. But, there’s always time for closure. Be a good girl and say sorry, at least. If he didn’t accept it or showed that he didn’t care, no harm done. At least you know that you made a move to patch things up.

Maybe the wrong guys you knew were also thinking about these same things. Maybe they’re also thinking that we are the wonderful Ms. Wrong in their lives. If everybody appreciates her ex-boyfriends the way I do, then this would be a better place. No hard feelings, no bitterness, no trying to avoid someone, no trying to helplessly forget someone, and no saying that her ex is a big fat jerk.

My last ex, for instance, is a wonderful wrong guy, one way or another.

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