[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

Sad.

Why do I feel like this? I tried convincing myself that I’m better off without you. Yet, with every thought, I get drawn to you. I wanted to avoid getting close to you again. I wanted to stop seeing you. But, since that night we met, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.

I don’t want to bring my old self back. I’m afraid, totally terrified, that I might make the same mistakes again. I don’t want to be that needy, desperate, and clingy girl you used to know. I don’t want to be hurt again.

Why is it that whenever I’m with you, I feel like a constant failure? It’s as if I couldn’t grasp my sense of control. All I think about is spending every moment with you until our time runs out. I am happy when we’re together. But after the fun, I keep thinking that everything is totally wrong. Then, I become sad. And afraid.

I don’t want to end up like shit again. I need to stop this before I get attached to you again. I don’t want to get to the point of not being able to let you go.

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