[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

The sign said “Hell no!”

I asked for a sign, you know, that if we ever meet today, then there’s still a small chance that we’re gonna get back together. That if I were to see you tonight, then I’m gonna leave all my doubts behind and ask you to be mine, again. I don’t care how long I’m gonna see you. I don’t care where. I just want to be with you.

It’s just that I miss you, you know.

That’s why I called and told you I want to hang out. Even just for a while. I was hoping you’d say yes, also because you’re always available whenever I ask you to go out with me. You’re always game when it comes to these things. But not tonight.

Not on this very important night.

I wanted to tell you the reason why I sounded excited and desperate at the same time. But, you know, it will defeat the purpose of me asking for a sign. You said you needed to sleep early. You couldn’t go out. You said, “Let’s just hang out tomorrow.” I wanted to tell you, tomorrow’s too late.

That’s when I realized, I want to be with you so badly. And you don’t feel the same way. I wanted us to be together again. But you’re not hoping for the same thing. You already gave up on me.

While I’m here asking for signs and crossing my fingers and wishing everything would be effin fine between us.

But no. It’s kinda harsh, but you said no. And no, I’m not gonna sit here and ask for another sign. ‘Cause in those months after our break up, I was always looking for something to hold on to. A word, a sign, a small gesture. I was that effin stupid.

So yeah, basically, I have to give up on you too. You’re gonna be my hardest goodbye.



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