[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

I’m tired of all this.

Most of the times, I have this urge to just disappear and get lost. I want to be somewhere else, where it won’t be possible for me  to go back here, where I can’t find you. Most of the times, I want to run from everything. I want to run away from you, not to you. I want to have a stronger resolve to just forget all the things we had. I want to see myself not caring about you. Most of the times, I want to have amnesia.

Until now, it breaks my heart to know that you’re in love with someone else. I don’t even know where I stand. I keep telling myself that it’s all right. But I’m terribly afraid that one day you will tell to my face that I’m on the losing end. I don’t even know if you ever loved me. Right now, I’m full of doubts. You make me forget about these doubts when we’re together. But every time I’m alone, I think of all the things I’m afraid to ask you. I want to ask why you keep on seeing me. Why can’t you just let me go and leave me be? Why do you keep on hurting me? Why can’t you be honest with me?

Most of the times, I want to escape. But whenever there’s a chance, I keep backing out. I keep holding on to our past. I keep asking for a miracle. I keep telling myself that everything’s gonna be fucking all right.

But it’s not. It’s not gonna be all right.


6 responses

  1. Jonny

    im just so confused…the more i read the bigger mystery…hehehe…maybe one day ill figure it out.


    March 5, 2011 at 5:26 AM

    • Oh, I’m sorry for that. Sometimes, there are posts just for creative writing and fiction 🙂 refer to categories for those. but for everything else, uhm yeah, they’re really confusing. Life is… I missed your comments, btw (:

      March 6, 2011 at 12:16 AM

  2. Jonny

    Thanks alot Angel for missing my comments. Im not sure if you do, but i really hope you are feeling better and things are moving in the right direction. Yes, i know for many people writing can be like a good therapy and help getting things of their chests and minds. Always take very good care, okay?


    March 6, 2011 at 2:46 AM

    • mm hmm (: i’m feeling great. This weekend helped me relax. I even recorded a rather happy song. Haha.

      I hope you enjoyed your weekend as well.

      March 7, 2011 at 2:46 AM

  3. Jonny

    Hey im very glad to hear that. And ive already heard your song hehe. If it was the song you posted here. Was very nice and sweet song. 🙂 Thanks i have only been relaxing same like you. Hope you have a wondeful week.


    March 7, 2011 at 2:53 AM

    • Yep that’s my latest post. It’s good you liked it. Now my throat is sore because of recording that. Haha. Have a wonderful week too.

      March 7, 2011 at 10:24 AM

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