I miss you, Em.
I still talk about you in present tense, like you’re just around the corner ready to surprise me with a bunch of flowers again. Not a lot of people know what happened. It’s not that I don’t want them to know. I just don’t want their fake sympathies and stiff hugs and cold pats on the back. I mean, even my closest friends with whom I shared this story didn’t know what to do or say. I know, it’s a difficult situation, one I couldn’t get out of in just a short time. I still hug Kero-chan to sleep. I still text your phone number. I feed myself with our bittersweet memories. I just can’t get over you.
Remember when we were so in love? You with me, I with someone else. I was a pathetic loser for loving him so blindly even though I could see you very well. You understood me completely, that it takes time to move on, that I need you to get my mind off him, that I was stupid for being so romantically attached to someone else when I know in my mind and heart that I’m better off with you. You were patient and kind and gentlemanly and sweet. Why did you have to go before I could say I love you too?
I wish it was that easy to know your whereabouts. I wish I could still see you from time to time. I wish you wouldn’t go to where I couldn’t follow. I wish you were still here, with me, on Earth, in my reality. Here, now.