[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

Falling in Love with a Friend

So, you fell in love with your friend but you are afraid to tell him because it might ruin your friendship.

I think, this is a situation most of us already found ourselves in, and many of us are still struggling to get out of. This is a frustrating dilemma in which the choices are both risky. You want more than friendship but you are not sure if he wants the same thing. You are standing on a shaky ground, at night, in a fog. With zero visibility. It is hopeless to try to move. More hopeless to stay where you are.

But, admit it. It is very difficult when you know that one step closer could change everything, and one step back would change everything anyway.

What if you scare him away? You will lose your love. And your friend. But good riddance, guys like that aren’t worth your precious love.

What if he just laughs at you and thinks it is ridiculous? You can laugh with him like it is just one big joke. But, believe me, a joke aimed at you is never funny. Besides, you can never pretend and hide your feelings forever.

What if he acknowledges your feelings but he isn’t ready to answer yet? You will spend sleepless nights waiting in agony, always wondering what his answer would be.

What if he loves someone else? Oh, the great unrequited love. I can’t stress that enough.

But, what if the whole world conspires with you and the heavens bring forth your best luck, and this friend tells you he also loves you? I know, you’ll be dumbfounded at first. Then, a sigh of relief a moment after. And after that, I can hear your mind buzzing with questions and doubts and fears.

Uh-oh, you are on shaky ground again. The aftershock.

How exactly do you take your friendship to the next level? It’s just as simple as stepping up. But it doesn’t mean that when you leave the lower step, it would be gone. See, the problem with the friends-to-lovers thing is that couples tend to think that an exclusive relationship is an entirely different thing. They don’t know the fact that it is basically friendship, only with additional benefits. They think that they have to change their ways, their attitude towards each other, and their whole relationship just because they now have the title of boyfriend-girlfriend. That’s where many couples fail – in thinking that love is something grander than friendship.

You should know that love is only as strong as its foundation. The most successful love stories are built on friendship. Therefore, love never ruins friendship. Rather, one enhances the other. They come hand in hand. They nurture each other. When you are in a relationship, you don’t have to force yourself to make love more special. It all comes naturally.

Also, being exclusive doesn’t mean you have to stop doing the things you were doing when you were just friends. It doesn’t mean you have to stop teasing each other and start getting mushy all the time. Yes, you have to put extra effort and spend extra time, but you also have to keep the crazy things. Like old times. Romantic relationships are not always serious, you know.

Lastly, never think about the end. Don’t be scared that when you break up, you’d never be friends anymore. That you’d never talk to each other, ever. Thinking about the end is actualizing it. You are making it happen just by putting it on your mind. Don’t be scared of what you don’t know. If you believe in your friendship, then you can endure anything.

Now, don’t be afraid if you fell in love with a friend. Love isn’t something to fear. Tell him. Do something. Remember, most regrets come from the things we didn’t do. The words we left unsaid.

And next time you think “What if it doesn’t work?”… Just remember this: Oh, but what if it does?


One response

  1. this is sick..

    September 21, 2012 at 11:04 PM

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