[it’s where you could find me when you couldn’t find me anywhere else]

Familia Poets

Piece of Heaven

When you grow up, you might ask me
How it is to raise you alone
I know I mess up, sometimes I feel
Like I can’t move along

But I put those thoughts aside
And when I see your little smile
I realize I now have
A piece of heaven in me.

Your fragile body gives me strength
Your twinkling eyes light up my world
Your sweet voice gives me courage
And urges me to move on

‘Cause when I cradle you in my arms
And when I hold your little hands
I realize I now have
A piece of heaven in me.


Protected: Home is not where my heart is.

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Joketime with Inang

Kanina sa hacienda, habang naglilinis ng maliliit na figurines…

Inang: (kinuha ang isang figurine) Oh, ito, si Melchor.

Ako: Hindi, si Baltazar yan!

Inang: Si ano yan, si Gomez!

Ako: Gomez???

Inang: Oo! Gomburza… Gomez, Burgos, Zamora.

Ako: Ha??? Eh paano namang naging sila yan???

Inang: Ay, tatlong pari pala yung Gomburza. Tatlong hari pala dapat. Melchor, Baltazar, Gaspar.

Ako: Hahahahahahahahaha.

Akala ko naman kung sino si Gomez… Ang galing ni Inang! Windang ako 😀

You and I are the same. We open the door when we got home, but there’s no one there to greet us.

heto na naman…

nag-aaway na naman sila.

it’s the main reason why i don’t want to stay here for the remainder of my summer vacation. instead of relaxing, i find myself getting stressed up with all the nonsense. nakakainis. they’ve been acting like children.

“sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos, ganito ang buhay natin.”

oo, araw-araw silang nag-aaway. paulit-ulit din naman yung mga pinuputak nila. tapos, ako na nga yung nananahimik sa isang tabi, papansinin pa ko. papagalitan pa ko. idadamay pa ko sa walang kwenta nilang bangayan. at kapag sinubukan ko namang ipagtanggol yung sarili ko, sasabihin nila, “at sumasagot ka na ngayon?”

shet lang.

sometimes, i wanted to run away from home. kaya siguro, okay na rin yung napagkasunduan namin. maybe, i’m better off without them. for selfish reasons, mas matatahimik ang buhay ko pag umalis ako.

but for selfish reasons too, i want to stay…

nakakainis, gusto kong tumahimik na sila. pero sino daw ba ako para utusan sila? ako lang naman ang mas nakakaalam na pareho silang mali, pero pinagpipilitan nilang tama sila. oo na, ako na yung mas nakakaalam. kaya ako dapat yung mas nakakaintindi.


oo na.


i don’t like the fact that i’m just sitting here, benumbing my butt, and doing things that actually amount to nothing. i couldn’t think of something better to do than rant and blab about my totally useless and boring weekend.

to talk to my dad would be another failed attempt to make up with him. i just don’t like another confrontation that would lead to hurt egos. besides, i think he also realized that conflicts would not be cleared out soon, and it’s way better that we stay out of each other’s sight. well, i’ve mastered pretending that i truly love my super interesting bedroom and it would be too hard for me to part with it even for a while. actually, i only go out of my room when i have to pee, check the mail, blog, or sneak out for food.

i wasn’t going out to my friends’ houses, too. i miss them more than ever, now that i’m beginning to think that their places feel more like home to me. i miss the summer days when i could hang out with them anywhere and anytime.

cause now, i’m literally stuck in here. here is where i don’t belong. i know i’m just thinking all these and exaggerating about mostly everything. yet, i couldn’t help it. worse, nobody’s helping me to think otherwise. all of them are proving to be sticking on what i’ve believed in. that i really am an outcast.

oh well, i should be focusing on other things.

i could be indifferent forever.

by now, i’ve perfected my role of being an outcast at home. as soon as i entered our gates yesterday evening, i had put on my sulky-and-silent mood. it’s easier this way. i’m more peaceful. we don’t have to pretend that everything’s fine. and we don’t have to make believe that we could still somehow patch things up. so it’s better to stay this way. no efforts wasted. no mouths drained and strained. no anger boiled.

just an invisible barrier. and this cold war.